Why Healthy Boundaries are Important for any Relationship
A lot of people tend to avoid the implementation of boundaries in their relationships because of the notion that boundaries keep people apart. Although, a popular opinion, it is a wrong one. Boundaries are what keep a relationship together and the people in it unique and sane.
What Are Boundaries?
A simple definition of a boundary is something that keeps two things apart, it could be a line or a wall. However, in relationships, boundaries are a set of personal rules and ideals that people put in place to protect their identity or their sense of self. Boundaries are put in place to keep people unique and able to express themselves freely.
One of the keys to a healthy relationship is setting up healthy boundaries. They make it easier to identify where one person ends and where the other one begins. 5 major types of boundaries can keep any relationship strong:
- Physical boundaries
- Emotional boundaries
- Sexual boundaries
- Intellectual boundaries
- Financial boundaries
Importance Of Healthy Boundaries in Relationships
The presence of healthy boundaries is very important in all relationships for several reasons:
1. Crowd Control
A healthy personal boundary can have a massive impact on how people interact with and act around a person. A strong personal boundary will ensure the absence of situations or events that make a person uncomfortable.
2. Self Empowerment
Setting certain boundaries and adhering to them puts one in the driver’s seat of one’s life. A person can develop a sense of surety and pride as a result of being in control of their life, personal space, and the kind of elements that make it through into their personal space.
In a romantic relationship, sometimes it can become difficult to identify the couple as two separate individuals. Without boundaries, it is possible for one party with a more assertive nature to completely absorb the other party. More often than not, that is not a good thing.
Boundaries help us to identify where one individual ends and the other begins. With healthy boundaries, both individuals can stay true to themselves, feel emotions and make certain decisions independently.
Also, boundaries enable you to recognize your duties and responsibilities and differentiate them from those that aren’t yours to bear.
Not everyone you come across will respect the boundaries that you have put in place, however, when you are among the people who do, you shall be treated with the utmost respect.
They also enable you to recognize the boundaries that other people have set, so that you can also respect, and relate with them accordingly.
5. Improved Communication
The ability to set boundaries and communicate them effectively to other people in a way they’ll understand requires one to attain a significant level of communication. Furthermore, boundaries make obvious, your wants, needs, and set them apart from the things you detest, this makes your interaction in a relationship more fluid and appropriate. In a romantic relationship, this can generate more emotional intimacy between the two parties.
Boundaries breed accountability in any relationship. Partners in a romantic relationship can take responsibility for their actions, inaction, faults, and make apologies when one is required.
7. Self-care and Integrity
Boundaries enable you to prioritize and pay attention to your feelings. Therefore, you are more in tune with yourself; your feelings, and your needs. It is only after you have taken care of your feelings that you can begin to cater for or mind the that of another. After all, you cannot pour from an empty cup and you cannot give what you do not have.
The inability to take care of one’s feelings can cause a build-up of anger and resentment, this resentment can have a detrimental effect when dealing with other people.
How to Set Healthy Boundaries
Don’t know how to get started on setting your boundaries? Here are some steps you can take to set healthy boundaries.
- Define your boundaries; look within and get up close and personal with your feelings, identify the things that make you uncomfortable, stress you, or make you angry.
- Be gentle, confident, and communicate eloquently, be firm and clear in your meaning when you communicate with other people.
- Be kind to yourself
- Keep in mind that your boundaries can be flexible; it’s okay for your boundaries to shift and change, depending on the situation and the person or persons involved.
It may be more than a little unsettling to have boundaries in relationships, especially a romantic one because people believe that lovers are supposed to be comfortable with whatever their partners do as long as they are in love. However, to have a long-lasting relationship, boundaries are very important things to incorporate into a relationship.